angrybanjo

Mary Poppins Recuit

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:58:14 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic

I don't care if you've already seen it, I found it today and I thought it was hysterical.

Ok, cheating on an ethics quiz is probably double bad karma points.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:13:27 GMT

I hate HR Training. Maybe I'm in the wrong occupation. But seriously, our first HR Training for "Mastery Evaluation"?

1. Which of the following behaviors are allowed by A&M System policy?<input ... >
<input ... >Pressure for sexual activity
<input ... >Offensive sexual advances
<input ... >Unwanted touching
<input ... >Unwanted exposure to sexually explicit reading materials
<input ... >None of the above

Where's "All of the above . . . baby"

fucking microsoft

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 18:12:06 GMT

So my computer won't even start on safemode after an official windows update? Thats perfect, just perfect *grumbles*. AND the office is out of coffee?!? I don't think Green Tea has enough octane for me to code data.

So I've described some crazy A&M traditions here, but I'm not sure people can really appreciate how clinically school spirited the people are here. I walked to the gym last night and passed the mascot graveyard. They made an external scoreboard in front of it that way Reveille can always watch her Aggies play. EVEN UNTO DEATH.

Without further ado, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_a%26m_traditions

Seriously, thats not even half of them.

Star Wars satire

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:03:36 GMT

Stormtrooper's 9/11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV7Ha3VDbzE&feature=topvideos

Also, I want Pirate Fish ice cubes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV7Ha3VDbzE&feature=topvideos

Just saying, Christmas is coming up.

Vaguely Career Relevant Academic Soul Searching

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:34:24 GMT

The cruelty that is my personnel psychology teacher has forced me to examine my professional identity and ethics. Seriously, what kind of educator picks readings that directly attacks one's personal, unquestioned, and long held values? The nerve of some teachers.

As per usual I'm vascillating between academic and applied positions. But now even the issue of what academic position is most in line with beliefs is questioned! Going to a business school and teaching methodology to the masses, only to be rebuked as a sell-out to psychology? Or, teaching I/O as psychology and fighting the good fight to bring our career out into the world, only to be seen as ivory tower if even noticed at all. I suppose I have some time to worry about it, but ya know, its still there.

In the mean time, I'm trying to figure out my personal research track.

On a critical note of all of academia: what moron came up with tenure? We have generations of academics that sit on their asses and do nothing of value except train grad students to self-advise. Academics only develop a research program and actually publish before they get tenure! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT BUT NO ONE DOES ANYTHING. The few professors who keep up their research are seen as flukes and workaholics, thats ridiculous. Isn't academia, really anything that takes that many years of your life, require the dedication necessary of a true vocation? What sad individual devotes a decade to passionate, difficult research and then bottoms out for the rest of their career. Sad.

My behavioral motivational solution: 5-10 year contracts periodically evaluated over one's career. Just enough job security to keep people comfortable, but enough variability to keep the job market fair and bubbling and encourage goal-setting among researchers. You could even get more flexibility and pay "years" of contract depending upon variations in the level of performance.

Not going home and not having family for thanksgiving blows.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:38:40 GMT

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

: (

STORMTROOPER SAYS YES!

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:39:29 GMT

So despite my fumbling, unmeasured, and entirely too hot water, this french press coffee still tastes infinitely better than anything out of a drip coffee maker. What have I been missing all these years? There is a significant difference in deliciousness between the two (t =awesome, p < .001).

It's totally worth the minute extra cholestarol or whatever. And pairs well with the cranberry banana bread.

. . . Yeah, I might have this shipped down to Texas

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:38:43 GMT

http://www.myjones.com/code/limited.php?campaign=wizards

Who doesn't wanna drink Illithid brain juice?

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:46:01 GMT

First Independent Experiment at Texas A&M:

Minus side: Gotta go through a shit ton of training for institutional review board, blah blah ethics.

Plus side?

I get my very own Research Assistant! I have a minion! A familiar! A Dire-Undergrad.

How'd I arrive in a place like this? Red right hand as the alligator kiss.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:05:03 GMT

So for $30 I can go Dove hunting in College Station.

Let me repeat that: Dove hunting.

Hunt the bird of peace! It's one of those situations that seems so unethical and awkward that I'd consider going just for all the nervous giggling when the poor things explode. I wonder if they're white doves? I imagine that would be a factor.

"And I know that it's not,
How you thought it would be"

I wanna be Sinestro

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:52:44 GMT

The first time I heard the Aggie Fight Song was during a drag show at a gay bar. Take that most conservative school on the planet.

Also, I heartily recommend any comic fans out there to go and download/buy/whatever the Green Lantern Corps comic series (particularly the In Blackest Night arcs). I've been obsessed lately, but thats because its awesome.

Generally, Sci fi and fantasy can take two distinct routes in how . . . cosmopolitan the species/cultures of the universe can go. And it tends to go in extremes. Either everyone relatively gets along and there's lots of little battles that are not necessarily by cultural lines (Star Wars) or there is substantial lack of knowledge regarding other group's culture and fights break out along cultural lines (Star Trek). I feel like most sci fi and fantasy can be broken down by those two lines, and unless its a really established broad universe it seems difficult to make it less polar.

As Green Lanterns are across the entire multi-dimensional universe, it definitely takes a more Star Wars route. I think I prefer that generally, its cool to see more frequent cultural contact between Lanterns that are say, reptillian, insectoid, or even planets and mathematical formula.

Of course, I like cosmic-level comic books, because I'm a giant loser.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:27:34 GMT

Texas doesn't rain, it storms. Yeah yeah, I've seen tornado strength weather.

But thunder when its sunny kinda creeps me out.

Also, the only people that facebook's algorithms or whatever compute for my "Suggested contacts" are professors at other I/O Programs. Usually those that turned me down. Bummer.

I have no good title for this

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:03:09 GMT

So I paid my ticket today. Oh yeah, and I hate Texas. I understand speeding 8 miles over in a school zone is frowned upon. And I do honestly feel very bad. Well, I did after I saw all the kids walking to school the next day. Jose suggested that I was actually doing the kids a favor and teaching them the value of looking both ways. Tough love from that man.

Anyways, I do feel bad but . . . 305 fucking dollars for 8 over?!? Thats ridiculous. And the speed limit was 20 mph! 20?!? Who does that? I'm more upset I'm poor already, I didn't need that. I had absolutely no concern about points until I went to the court today. I was considering contesting it and wanted some consultation on whether this was worthwhile. In texas, getting a court date is a full request. They don't just assign you a date to appear in court: you request one, have a pretrial meeting with the city prosecutor, and are required to plea not guilty.

Apparently you cannot plead "I just want to go to court so I can get a reduced fine".

So I asked what my other options were. I could pay the ticket straight off (ugh, suck), or I could get a "deferred disposition", pay an extra 50 bucks, and promise not to get another ticket in 180 days (kinda like a probation).

So I said, "What the hell is the point of paying more money for probation? I don't wanna get another ticket in 180 days or ever"
"We don't report your ticket to your home state".
" . . . . Bingo. I want that one."

Is it just me or doesn't that sound like extortion? It's not bad enough to get a huge ticket, but then they make sure you get points for it unless you pay more money. I guess its more like a bribe then. Either way, sounds pretty shady to me. Everything is bigger in Texas. Especially the city's wallets.

Dear Wussbag

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:52:41 GMT

Bet you won't play your banjo tonight. You'll sit on your empty couch, watching CNN because you're too cheap and broke to pay for real cable.

And you'll say, "no, I'll get some reading done before I go to sleep then I'll feel productive", only to groggily plod through something academic. Disinterested, but feeling slightly better about yourself. Until you try to go to sleep and all you can think about is how you wasted your day.

Bet you won't pick it up. Can you even tune that thing anymore? Or even worse, you'll pick it up, play a song and quit because it's too darn hard.

Baby.

Me waxing philosophically or nutritionally . . .

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:34:16 GMT

So, blah blah carbs are bad for you, but very few people have managed to explain to me why. I didn't spend much time looking it up, although I do intend to eventually, but I found the wiki article on glycemic index helpful. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycemic_index#cite_note-9 ) Which made the "carbs are bad!" more scientifically grounded and in line with other research I've read. I think the problem is that a lot of people are more concerned with cutting carbs out of their diet to lose weight, not to get healthy. Bread's fine! Its just the glycemic index, so it depends on the bread! Carbohydrates imbedded in more complex food with a low glycemic level means no sugar shock to your liver and cardiovascular system that causes damage to your body over time. Simple enough.

The wiki article references an Australian study (I know, one study means nothing, but there are others that're similar) where high carb, high gylcemic index breakfast cereal was linked with . . . diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Pretty harsh stuff. Exactly the same things people sued cigarette companies for a few decades ago. And think about how long that information took to get out to the public, gain acceptance, go to trial, etc. Decades from now, but somewhere in our life time, will there be huge class action lawsuits against Kellogg? General Mills? Captain Crunch himself? It sounds laughable, but there are some interesting similarities and converging trends from other health and food pundits out there.

I mean, who didn't eat sugary cereals every day when they were younger. Our parents and teachers taught us not to smoke while potentially cramming down a comparable product daily, and all the while telling us it was healthy. I will also cite mounds of research as I healthfully drink down a glass of bourbon during that meal and daily as often as I can. Drink to your health! Ok, I know I'm a bit hyperbolic but something I hope to remember when I eat among family, friends, and more importantly young people.

God I could go for some Lucky Charms right now though.

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/White_bread_breakfast_unhealthy/articleshow/2851289.cms

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:20:32 GMT

Ok, maybe I'm just a bit worried about keeping in touch with people before I go to Texas but . . .

Here's a pretty graph of how Americans spend their day!
http://unclutterer.com/2009/08/04/how-people-in-the-us-spend-their-day/

Kinda sad? I personally promise to spend more time socializing than absorbing Media than this depressing graph indicates.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost

Fight the Power!

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:12:34 GMT

An argument for why its good to put down books we cannot finish, much more eloquently worded than I have ever made it:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jul/24/edge-closing-the-book-on-a-bad-read/

Found it through unclutterer.com . I also recommend that.

Random Nerdery for the day

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 06:44:43 GMT

Ok, so I'm watching Star Trek Nemesis and just getting annoyed at techno babble. Specifically:

"blah blah special theoretical radiation that destroys organic material at the subatomic level."

If its subatomic is there really a difference between organic and inorganic? The carbon links between diamonds, graphite, and beef are all basically the same atoms. I just don't understand how radiation can specifically target organic versus inorganic when there's no difference at the subatomic level. Thats just silly.

Also, cloaking. Oooh no! Sensors can't pick up an invisible ship that doesn't show up on radar! That's the best whiny defense you can come up with when the Klingons and Romulans manhandle yet another Enterprise? Star Trek computers are advanced enough to synthesize personality, complex medical cures, and theoretical physics. But they don't have the basic computer software to determine probable locations using eigenvectors for locating cloaked ships? Warbirds shoot linear phaser attacks and bombard using multiple photon torpedos on a single pass. That is more than adequate information for locating and projecting the likely path of a cloaked ship.

This is why Star Wars is better: the Death Star doesn't need to aim.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:43:30 GMT

Classmate's gchat status: "on the training floor! Playing with Mr. Potatoe head, pipes and other fun experiential learning activities!"

And we wonder why people don't take us consultants seriously.

Have I mentioned she's the big Organizational Development person for one of major american auto manufacturers?

Doctor Appointment Day

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:58:26 GMT

So I went to my allergist and then had a physical, getting all healthy before going to Texas. My Allergist told me to show my food allergy blood tests to my doctor, said he'd get a kick out of it. My peanut allergy is 27. Cashew is 66. My hazlenut allergy is a 90 something on the immunuglobin E rating scale. Anaphylaxis begins at level 10.

Me: Dr. Silber said you'd be interested in seeing my IGE levels for my food allergies.
Doctor (looks at levels and bursts out laughing): Holy Sh-----. Uh. I kinda wanna see what would happen if you ate a hazlenut.
Me: I think I'd get superpowers.
Doctor: I think you'd drop dead.

We proceeded to discuss past food allergy encounters, I/O Psychology, girls, and the moral justifications of working for military contractors.

It's all Greek Paradox to me.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:50:32 GMT

After a discussion or two with Penny, Meg's interesting new gluten-free quest, and an insatiable wondering about what horrible diseases my secret genetics poses to dish out in twenty years, I have taken up a new book: In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan. http://www.amazon.com/Defense-Food-Eaters-Manifesto/dp/0143114964/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246466660&sr=1-1

Namely, it is a critique of food science as unhealthy reductionism, diet/nutritionist advice as ideology, and industrialization as a quantity-over-quality approach to human health. It's also a nice change of pace to have scientific advice that encourages me to eat real butter and drink every day and not feel guilty. French Paradox, greek paradox, whatever, its all food.

I also read (most of) his book The Omnivore's Dilemma. Which is quite enjoyable. But get this one, it's a treat.

Oh yeah, and apparently wheat is good for you. Screw off low carb bullshit.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:33:20 GMT

I'm turning in my thesis today. Yesterday is the first time that my advisor/committee chair read my discussion. *grumble* Almost done.

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:57:32 GMT

I swear on my own soul I will never as bad an advisor, teacher, or so inconsiderate a person.

Success!

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:36:48 GMT

I PASSED. WOOOOOOO. I'm officially certified for some HR shiznit. . . . I feel like I should go out and bust some unions or sexually harass a coworker now, just out of spite for that damned test. Clearly the education didn't take. Oh well.

It wasn't overly difficult question by question, some I just plain didn't know. How is anyone supposed to remember how many months an employee's divorced wife is entitled to take COBRA benefits? There's a GI Joe joke in there somewhere, but it's too early in the morning for that. The 3+ Hour test of nuanced multiple choice questions took its toll and I felt terrible last night and went to bed early. But now, I can revel in my passing. And I got my schedule for next year. Yay!

PSYC 607: Experimental Psychology (Tuesdays and Thursdays 11:10am-12:25pm)
PSYC 611: Personnel Psychology (Tuesdays 1:00-4:00pm)
PSYC 620: Theories of Social Psychology (Wednesdays 9:00am-12:00pm)
PSYC 691-607: Research (First year doctoral student colloquium series; Mondays 1:00-2:00pm)

Not too shabby.

You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!

andrewmnaber@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:28:14 GMT

'bout 2 hours before I take this godforsaken human resources certification exam. I've studied my ass off for this stupid thing. I've got nothing to lose, hell, it's technically a different career path. I gotta get this achievement addiction out of my system before I take on some other ridiculous education.

I'm a bit worried because its a really poorly worded multiple choice computer test. Ya know, one of those tests where its more important to know hot to take multiple choice than to actually know the content. It's inspirational for my career, driving a passion to design better tests and measurements. On the minus side, I still need to pass the damned thing. Wish me luck!

In other news, I'm in Tennessee working on my thesis. Almost done, or at least turned in. Might be an all nighter so I'll have time to get it in for some edits from another prof. *Sigh* I need tenure, I'm tired of deadlines and bureaucracy and being at the mercy of advisors.

My motivation for working hard this week and finishing means that I'll finish this and have the time to see the people I care about this summer. And not feel guilty for being a procrastinating slacker for doing so.